


011100100110111101100010011011110111010000001101000010100000110100001010

by ari_o (imaginarycircus), imaginarycircus



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-16
Updated: 2011-04-16
Packaged: 2017-10-18 03:53:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/184681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginarycircus/pseuds/ari_o, https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginarycircus/pseuds/imaginarycircus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny suspects Steve might not be human.</p>
            </blockquote>





	011100100110111101100010011011110111010000001101000010100000110100001010

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mecurtin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mecurtin/gifts).



Danny was able to dodge behind the shave ice cart and watched Steve run towards the perp holding a shotgun. It was about two p.m. and the weather, as usual, was perfectly bright and clear, but still Danny couldn’t get a shot off. It didn’t matter because Steve sank two in the perp’s chest and the man fell back onto scattered pebbles of broken safety glass in the middle of Alakea Street. They’d been trying to take him down for the better part of an hour with SWAT standing by and news crews in the distance trying to get film.

One of the syrup bottles on the cart had shattered in the crossfire and Danny had green syrup dripping down his shoulder. It smelled like lime candy. He just stared at Steve and didn’t bother to yell, “Are you insane?” because he already knew the answer. He felt like shaking Steve to see if he could hear brains rattling around inside his skull, because seriously? What kind of whackadoo runs towards a loaded shotgun?

“What?” Steve said to Danny and gave him expression one: I am confused by your exasperation. He handed the perp’s shotgun to Chin, then knelt and felt for a pulse. Steve shook his head. He employed serious expression two b: I’ve killed someone. Serious expression two merely meant: I’ve maimed or wounded someone.

"Your arm," Danny said, feeling a little squiggly looking at the hole in Steve's arm. It wasn't bleeding much, which meant the bullet was probably still in there.

“Bus is already here, brah,” Chin waved the ambulance forward through the SWAT team, who were packing up.

Steve looked down at his arm and shrugged, using expression seven to great effect: I’ve been shot, but I can pull the bullet out with my teeth, dump some super glue into the wound, and go on my merry way.

"No, really. You have to get in the ambulance now and go to the hospital." Danny shooed him into the ambulance and climbed in after him. They drove without lights and sirens, much to Danny’s stomach’s relief.

The paramedic examined Steve’s wound, wrapped a dressing around it, and began to take Steve's vitals. Steve took out his phone and dialed someone.

“Who do you have to call right this very second?” Danny said and grabbed for the phone.

Steve was too fast for him and said into the phone, "I need Dr. Drieser," and hung up.

"Huh, your blood pressure is oddly stable. You get shot a lot?" The paramedic said and laughed.

"Oh, right." Steve began to sweat and look pale and he lay back on the stretcher and made expression six: I’m in dire pain, but I’m stoic about it.

"Weird," the paramedic scribbled some notes.

"What? Is he not OK?" Danny tried to decipher the scribble.

"They'll have to take some X-Rays to see what kind of damage the bullet did, but I expect he'll be fine. I've just never seen anyone's BP change so rapidly from normal to what you'd expect to see with a GSW."

When they wheeled Steve into the ER the nurse made Danny sit in the waiting area and Steve disappeared behind a set of curtains still looking pale and in pain. The nurse came back and patted Danny on the back. He must have looked worried, because she brought him a ginger ale. She said Steve was going for X-Rays, but Danny never saw them wheel Steve out of the cubicle he’d disappeared into.

Danny sat in the waiting room and his ginger ale grew warm and flat. Maybe the Navy had done weird experiments on Steve so that he didn't feel pain or fear the way the average person would. Danny decided that would actually explain a lot about the way Steve functioned.

"How is he?" Kono sat down next to Danny with a tight, worried face.

"They're X-raying his arm now. He'll probably need surgery, but everyone seems pretty calm about it.” Danny’s eyes flicked up and he watched a thin man in a blue shirt and tie, disappear behind the curtains to Steve’s ER cubicle. Danny figured he was the surgeon, though with that pocket protector the guy had looked more like technical support. Danny told Kono to wait. and followed the doctor to see if he could at least get an update.

The nurses were all busy and Danny was able to poke his head behind the curtain. There was Steve sitting up and looking fine. The man in the tie had a laptop plugged into a socket in Steve’s side. Danny felt the earth tilt sideways because Steve had a rectangular flap of skin peeled back from his too perfect abdomen, but there was no blood. There were wires and circuits and metal. There was a toolbox open on the floor.

“I knew it!” Danny shouted.

Steve looked up in alarm. His expression was a new one, and not on in Danny’s catalog. Twelve: What fresh hell is this?

The man in the tie yelled, “Security!”

“I knew there was no way you were human,” Danny kept pointing his finger at Steve. “I knew it!”

“Danny, let me explain,” Steve turned to the man in the tie and said, “Give me two minutes.”

“This is highly irregular and I could—“

“One minute. Just give me one minute alone with my partner. Please?”

The man in the tie slipped a small flashlight into his pocket protector and said, “One minute commander. I’m going to have to report this breach, you know.” He flicked the curtain closed behind him.

“Fine. Explain.” Danny crossed his arms. This was going to be good.

Steve opened his mouth and closed it several times. Thirteen: I am a codfish.

“Come on. It’s not that hard to say,” Danny said and waved his hand as if to draw the words from Steve, “I am a robot.”

“I’m not a robot, Danny. How could you think that?” Steve had upset face number three: I’m sensitive despite my tendency to keep live grenades in your car.

“How could I not think that? You are not normal. You don’t feel any fear. You run at people with loaded shotguns. You bounce back after boulders hit you in the face. And your hair is never messed up. So what are you? Cyborg? Bionic man?”

“That’s classified, Danny. I’d tell you if I could, but I can’t.”

“So I’m supposed to just keep working with a guy who probably charges himself at night like a cell phone and not ask any questions?”

The man in the tie came back. “You can tell him the truth, but then he’ll have to take the pill.”

Steve nodded a four: OK, but I’m not happy about it.

“Whoa? What? I am not taking one of the military’s special pills. It’s to make me forget right?”

“It’s an amnesia pill, Danny. You’ll only forget the last ten minutes.”

“No,” Danny said. “No way am I taking anything like that.”

“I’m afraid you don’t have a choice,” the man in the tie held out a cup of water and what looked like an aspirin tablet. “You have to take the pill. You’ve seen too much.”

“You can’t make me take a pill.” Danny was calling their bluff. Steve probably could pry his mouth open and force a pill down his throat, but he didn’t think Steve would actually do that. But that was before he’d known the man wasn’t completely human. Danny’s skin crawled.

“No, we can’t.” The man in the tie pulled out a large bore hypodermic needle. “But I can give you a shot in the ass. Commander? Restrain your partner.”

“Please don’t make me do this,” Steve said. He gave Danny sad eyes, number two: please don’t hate me for this.

“Commander, that’s an order.”

Steve pinned both Danny’s hands down on the gurney, undid Danny’s belt, and whispered, “This isn’t how I thought I’d get in your pants. And for your information I’m an experimental human/AI hybrid and I’m sorry. This isn’t how I would’ve handled this.”

Danny struggled, but Steve was much stronger. The needle bit into Danny’s backside and something burned into his body, making him sway and melt. He wanted to remember something, but he wasn’t sure what it was. He fell to the floor and that was that.

“Hey, Danny?” Kono said. “Feeling better?”

“What happened?” He looked around.

“Easy,” Kono said and pushed him back down on the gurney. “You fainted. You went to check on Steve and you fainted. Do you remember?”

“I remember going to see if he was all right and then when I looked behind the curtain I …” He shook his head.

“Well, Detective Williams. I’m Dr. Drieser. You look much better now. Don’t sit up too quickly. The nurses will let you go once you’re certain you’re not feeling light headed.” The doctor reached out and shook Danny’s and Danny wondered why the doctor was wearing a shirt and tie instead of a white coat, but it seemed like a silly question to ask.

Steve came over with a large bandage on his arm. As usual he looked fine and Danny wondered if he were really human.

**Author's Note:**

> 011100100110111101100010011011110111010000001101000010100000110100001010 means robot in binary. :D


End file.
